Engineering jokes

[voltagepathmaker]

He tried to be a civil engineer, but couldn't bridge the gap.

 

[CoolBrad2025]

@voltagepathmaker I got one
The optimist says: "The glass is half full"

The pessimist says: "The glass is half empty"

The engineer says: "The glass is twice as big as it needs to be"

 

[shimmilou]

There are only 10 kinds of people, those that understand binary and those that don't

 

[Deleted member 157]

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are given a challenge. A pile of money is placed in the middle of a room. The three contestants are told they can move half the distance to the centre and then they must stop. Then they can go half the remaining distance and so on.

The mathematician quickly realises he will never get there so he goes home.

The physicist, who works out everything to five decimal places, was still there a week later.

The engineer did three iterations and said "Close enough", picked up the money and retired to the pub.

Cheers

Ian

 

[David Briscoe]

A Priest, a Dentist and an Engineer plan on a day of golfing at one of their favorite golf courses. When they arrive for their tee time, they are told by the golf pro, "there is a little delay because of the "Tournament for the Blind" was taking a little longer than expected. Our apologies for the wait".

The Priest asks for more information on this Tournament. He is told, "every year we hold a Tournament for the Blind as our way to help serve our community and to give handicapped individuals s chance to be involved in a sport they normally couldn't enjoy".

The Priest says, "That's so wonderful, it's such a great service. I will see if some of our members in the congregation would like to help in supporting this event".

The Dentist says, "This is a great idea, I would like to offer free dental services to each one of the players involved in this tournament".

The Engineer asks, "Why can't they play at night"?

David

 

[ohmsweetohm761]

I'd love to change the world, but they just won't hand me the source code.

 

[Circuitsmith]

He had dreams of becoming an electrical engineer, but he just couldn't find the right connection.

 

[OhmMy]

She considered aerospace engineering, but her thoughts never really took off.